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Guide

How do I talk to parents about concerns that their child may be autistic?

How to prepare, what to say (and not say), and how to keep the partnership strong whatever the family decides.

By The Autism Kit teamUpdated Sep 27, 2026 · 1 min read
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The short answer

Prepare specific, dated observations. Meet privately, start with the child's strengths, describe what you see (not labels), and share what you're already doing to help. Suggest the family talk to their pediatrician and, if appropriate, ask about a school evaluation. Don't diagnose. Listen, give them time, and keep supporting the child whatever they decide.

Key takeaways
  • Bring specific, dated observations.
  • Start with strengths; describe, don't label.
  • Share what you're already doing to help.
  • Suggest the pediatrician and, if appropriate, a school evaluation.

How do I prepare?

  • Write down specific examples: what happened, when, how often.
  • Note what helps in your classroom.
  • Know your school's evaluation process and who else should attend.2

What should I say?

  1. Start with strengths: "Leo is so curious about how things work."
  2. Describe what you see: "At group time, he often moves away when it gets loud, and he finds it hard to switch activities."
  3. Share what you're doing: "A visual schedule and warnings before changes are helping."
  4. Ask what they see at home.
  5. Suggest next steps: talking to their pediatrician, and a school evaluation if appropriate.

CDC's list of signs can help families understand what their doctor may ask about.1

What should I avoid saying?

Try
  • "Here's what I've noticed."
  • "What do you see at home?"
  • "Here's what's helping in class."
Skip
  • "I think he's autistic."
  • Comparing the child to classmates
  • Raising it at pickup in front of others
Free printable: appointment notesPDF · 2 pages · what you've noticed, plus questions to ask
Download Free printable: appointment notes

What can I do this week?

0 of 3 done

Common questions

It's better not to use diagnostic labels. Describe what you observe and suggest they talk to their pediatrician, who can refer for evaluation.

Sources

  1. CDC: Signs and symptoms of autism spectrum disorder. cdc.gov
  2. Center for Parent Information and Resources: Evaluating children for disability. parentcenterhub.org

This guide shares general information and our team's perspective, based on the sources above. Rules and services differ by country, region and school, so always check your local guidance and your organisation's policies. How we write our guides.

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