- A meltdown is overwhelm, not a choice.
- A tantrum usually stops when the goal is met; a meltdown doesn't.
- During a meltdown: safety, quiet, fewer words, wait.
- Prevent by spotting triggers and early signs.
How can I tell the difference?
| Meltdown | Tantrum | |
|---|---|---|
| Cause | Overwhelm: sensory, change, stress | Wanting something or avoiding something |
| Control | Child has lost control | Child has some control |
| Audience | Happens whether anyone is watching | Often checks if adults are watching |
| Ending | Doesn't stop when needs are met; ends with exhaustion | Often stops when the goal is met |
Many autistic children have meltdowns when they're overwhelmed, and they can look very different from child to child.1
What should I do during a meltdown?
- Keep everyone safe. Move things that could hurt, or move your child to a safer space if you can.
- Lower the input. Dim lights, reduce noise, fewer people.
- Say very little. Short, calm words, or none.
- Don't make demands or ask questions.
- Wait. Stay close if your child wants that, or give space if they don't.
How can I prevent meltdowns?
The NHS suggests looking for patterns in what happens before meltdowns.2
Try
- Noting what happened just before
- Visual schedules so changes aren't a surprise
- Breaks before busy or noisy events
- Headphones and a calm-down card
Skip
- Punishing a meltdown
- Long explanations mid-meltdown
- Surprise changes to routine
Free printable: calm-down cardPDF · 1 page · pick 2 or 3 things that help
Download Free printable: calm-down cardWhat can I try this week?
0 of 3 done
Read next: What is sensory overload?
