# How do I talk to parents about concerns that their child may be autistic?

> How to prepare, what to say (and not say), and how to keep the partnership strong whatever the family decides.

URL: https://theautismkit.com/guides/teacher-talking-to-parents-autism
By The Autism Kit team · Updated 2026-09-27

**Short answer:** Prepare specific, dated observations. Meet privately, start with the child's strengths, describe what you see (not labels), and share what you're already doing to help. Suggest the family talk to their pediatrician and, if appropriate, ask about a school evaluation. Don't diagnose. Listen, give them time, and keep supporting the child whatever they decide.

**Key takeaways**
- Bring **specific, dated observations**.
- **Start with strengths**; describe, **don't label**.
- Share **what you're already doing** to help.
- Suggest the **pediatrician** and, if appropriate, a **school evaluation**.

## How do I prepare?

- Write down **specific examples**: what happened, when, how often.
- Note **what helps** in your classroom.
- Know your school's **evaluation process** and who else should attend.[2]

## What should I say?

1. **Start with strengths**: "Leo is so curious about how things work."
2. **Describe what you see**: "At group time, he often moves away when it gets loud, and he finds it hard to switch activities."
3. **Share what you're doing**: "A visual schedule and warnings before changes are helping."
4. **Ask what they see at home.**
5. **Suggest next steps**: talking to their pediatrician, and a school evaluation if appropriate.

CDC's list of signs can help families understand what their doctor may ask about.[1]

## What should I avoid saying?

**Try:**
- "Here's what I've noticed."
- "What do you see at home?"
- "Here's what's helping in class."

**Skip:**
- "I think he's autistic."
- Comparing the child to classmates
- Raising it at pickup in front of others

**Give them something to take away.** A short written summary of your observations helps families remember details for their doctor.

Free printable: [Free printable: appointment notes](https://theautismkit.com/printables/appointment-notes.pdf)

## What can I do this week?

- [ ] Write 5 specific, dated observations
- [ ] Plan a private meeting time
- [ ] Prepare a short written summary to share

## Common questions

### Can I tell a parent I think their child is autistic?

It's better not to use diagnostic labels. Describe what you observe and suggest they talk to their pediatrician, who can refer for evaluation.

### What if the parents get upset?

Listen, stay calm, and acknowledge their feelings. Offer to meet again, and keep focusing on how you're supporting their child.

### Can the school evaluate the child?

Schools can evaluate for special education with parental consent. Families can request an evaluation in writing.

## Sources

1. CDC: Signs and symptoms of autism spectrum disorder. https://www.cdc.gov/autism/signs-symptoms/index.html
2. Center for Parent Information and Resources: Evaluating children for disability. https://www.parentcenterhub.org/evaluation/

General guidance, not a diagnosis or treatment plan. Talk with your pediatrician or a developmental specialist about your child's care.