# How can we make the holidays calmer for our autistic child?

> Visual calendars, gradual decorating, handling visitors and gifts, and protecting quiet time.

URL: https://theautismkit.com/guides/holidays-autism
By The Autism Kit team · Updated 2026-09-28

**Short answer:** Holidays bring lots of change: decorations, visitors, food, noise and no school. A visual calendar showing each day's plan, decorating a little at a time, and a quiet room to escape to help most. Tell visitors what helps, keep some routines steady, and let your child open gifts at their own pace. Your family's version of the holiday doesn't have to look like anyone else's.

**Key takeaways**
- Show each day on a **visual calendar**.
- **Decorate gradually**.
- Set up a **quiet room**.
- Brief **visitors** on what helps.

## Why are holidays hard?

Almost everything changes at once: the house looks different, there are visitors, food, noise and no usual routine. A visual calendar helps your child see what's coming.[1]

## What helps most?

| Challenge | Try |
| --- | --- |
| Changes to the house | Decorate a little at a time, together |
| Visitors | Show photos of who's coming; a quiet room |
| Gifts | Clear wrap, or one gift at a time |
| Big meals | Safe foods and a short time at the table |
| Travel | A picture schedule of the trip |

A short social story about the holiday can help too.[2]

**Try:**
- Keeping bedtime steady
- Planning quiet time each day
- Saying no to some events

**Skip:**
- Surprise visitors
- Back-to-back events
- Forcing hugs or photos

**Your own traditions.** Pajama days, a small family meal or a quiet walk can become the traditions your child loves most.

Free printable: [Free printable: social narrative template](https://theautismkit.com/printables/social-narrative-template.pdf)

## What can I do before the holidays?

- [ ] Make a holiday picture calendar
- [ ] Set up a quiet room
- [ ] Send relatives a short note on what helps

## Common questions

### Should we decorate all at once?

Many autistic children do better with gradual changes. Add a few decorations at a time, and let your child help.

### How do I handle wrapped gifts?

Some children dislike surprises. Clear wrapping, a photo of the gift, or opening one gift a day can help.

### What do I tell relatives?

A short message about what helps (and what doesn't) before the visit saves stress for everyone.

## Sources

1. AFIRM (UNC Frank Porter Graham): Visual supports evidence-based practice brief. https://afirm.fpg.unc.edu/wp-content/uploads/Visual-Supports-Brief-Packet.pdf
2. Carol Gray Social Stories. https://carolgraysocialstories.com/

General guidance, not a diagnosis or treatment plan. Talk with your pediatrician or a developmental specialist about your child's care.